Holiday Blues

Kema Ward • December 13, 2022

Tis' the Season to be...gloomy?

It’s the holiday season and everywhere you turn there are reminders of such. Consumerism, media, school, and even a doctors visit will remind you that it is the time for gatherings and parties. All in the name of Christmas, Hanukkah, the solstice, or whatever it is that various people celebrate this time of year. The common theme is gathering, being with family, and appearing nauseatingly cheery. I am so blessed to have a beautiful family of four whom I love and am very close with. I am, however, not feeling the holiday spirit this year. I even dropped the ball on my favorite of all the holidays, Halloween. 


In the grand scheme of things this shouldn’t even be an issue. It’s just a season, a time of year when people appear to be extra caring and compassionate, a state of being we should strive for throughout the entire year. The bombardment of images of trees, families, and happy children compound my ‘grinchiness’ with feelings of guilt and shame. I feel guilty because it would seem as though I am depriving the family right in front of me of an experience that everyone else is having and seems to enjoy. Then on top of that I am ashamed because it is just unacceptable to be down in the dumps and ruin everyone else’s holiday cheer. 


This is why healing can seem so hard but is still very much needed within our society. I am using this blog post to air my frustrations, but how many people will say nothing? How many will swallow their despair with a glass of egg nog? I refuse to choke on my feelings this year. It’s okay to not be okay. It just so happens that the timing of not being okay coincides with this festive time of year. I will find a way to breathe and meditate my way to a place of peace and enjoy this time with my family. In the past, I masked my feelings with faux holiday spirit and felt empty. Despite my smiles in photos, I just wanted the day to be over.


I don’t want to feel like that in 2022, so I have been actively thinking of how to ensure that this time is enjoyable for everyone. The first step is a little self-reflection, sitting with these feelings and getting to the root cause of them. It boils down to a combination of being away from family, the absence of my sister, and the lack of substance in many of the gestures during this time. Everything is more about material things than loving and giving. 


The second step in dissolving my holiday blues is to seek joy. I will search for joy in everything I do during this time. Seeking joy inevitably leads to step three, finding gratitude. It is hard for true joy to exist apart from thankfulness and I really do have so much to be grateful for. It is my experience that when I can be in gratitude, I find more things to be thankful for. It is a beautiful cycle that usually gets me out of any funk. 


In addition to the aforementioned tools, I will be meditating daily, sometimes multiple times a day, and moving my body. Not just yoga, yoga is great but when you have a 2-year-old, it is not always possible. Walks are possible, and so are dance parties because said toddler loves music and dancing. These movements, along with 11-second hugs, will trigger the release of oxytocin and other feel-good hormones.


Lastly, I will be eating food that doesn't just taste good but is also nutritious. I plan to prepare and eat food rich in antioxidants and vitamins, and drink theobromine-rich cacao. Cacao contains a bliss inducing mix of serotonin, endorphins, phenylethylamine, tryptophan, and anandamide, all of which enhance mood and create feelings of euphoria. A natural way to feel good! I will let you all know how it goes.


In summary, if you share any of these same feelings, here are ways to over come them and possibly have a better experience. 


  1. Engage in self-inquiry, in an attempt to get to the root of the issue.
  2. Seek joy in everything you do.
  3. Find gratitude.
  4. Meditate
  5. Move your body
  6. Do something you love; for me that is cooking.


And if none of these work, then talk to someone. Either someone you trust or a professional. 



Enjoy the life that YOU manifest,

Kema


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